Raise your hand if 2020 has already been a rough year! If that’s you, then you’re not alone. I stand firmly planted and eagerly awaiting the Christmas holiday again, because this year has been way too long. I’ve had a rough start with my health and maybe you’ve had some challenges too. Part of life is getting through the challenges, and a greater part of faith is getting through them with a hope and the surety of Christ. But I have a confession, and I think you may agree with it.
I’m a doubting Thomas
I am a doubting Thomas sometimes. It’s a huge confession, I know, but before you jump to conclusions let me explain. Thomas’ story can be found in John chapter 20, verses 24 to 29. I’ve loved this passage of scripture since I first read it; for the first time someone was stubborn enough to not believe what everyone else was saying, but rather look for answers and choose belief of his own.
“So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John chapter 20, verse 25)
It’s easy to get caught up in a frenzy of people. It’s also very easy to see Thomas as negative. In truth, I see him as relatable. No matter how strong you think your faith is, sometimes you need your own evidence to believe. Think about all the times you’ve faced a real struggle in your life and no matter how much people pray and encourage you, you’ve needed to go through it on your own prayer and faith.
It seems odd to find the disciple that doubted the most relatable person in some situations. I’ve had a rough start to the year. When I say rough, I’ve been to hospital three times this year and that’s between January and February. Laying in a room alone and trying to occupy your time leaves you with a lot of time to think and evaluate your beliefs and values. In those moments, I also had questions and needed to find the answers, and the faith for myself.
“A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” (John chapter 20, verse 26 and 27)
In all my searching I can tell you that I found two things in the last few months. I found peace, the kind of peace that can only show up when Jesus walks into the room, the kind of peace that can only come when you let go of control (despite the fact that you may face fear of the unknown and the uncontrollable). I also found my faith. It’s easy to lose sight of your faith when your world is spinning out of control. It’s easy to be swayed by opinions and outside information. What I found was an opportunity to build my faith and relationship with God. I found my own reason to stop doubting and believe.
Stop doubting and believe
Stop doubting and believe. It isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but we have never been promised an easy walk through life. It’s our choice to find stillness in life and focus on what brings us hope. It’s a choice to believe and have faith despite the doubt that human nature may leave us with. So here’s my confession; I am a Doubting Thomas. I have doubts but even then, I choose to hold fast to faith and see the evidence of the Creator in my life, stop doubting and believe.
Hailing from South Africa, Crystelda is an avid nerd and an unapologetic dreamer. With a BSc. Biological Sciences and BCom Hons in marketing, she has launched the Christian lifestyle blog - Selah Blogger and is the joint winner of the 2019 International Theology Award. The blog can be found at https://selahblogger.wordpress.com/ and her previous articles may be viewed at https://www.pressserviceinternational.org/crystelda-naidoo.html