Not too long ago, I was in pain. Major emotional pain. In fact, I was in such shambles that I believed my life was over and the pain I felt would be something I would have to live and deal with forever. Very few things can cause us to think that way. Especially us Christians with a hope of eternal life and an earthly life guaranteed to be guided and directed by a Father whose love knows no end. However, certain things can happen. A divorce, the death of a parent, a sudden accident and illness or for me and so many others … our very first, real heartbreak can leave us grappling in the sea of sorrow and grief. I would like to dedicate this article of mine to give a few words of hope to anyone who has or is currently experiencing emotional pain so deep, that you are convinced you will have to live with a void in your heart for the rest of your life.
I still remember like it was yesterday, searching through Instagram for ideas for my perfect wedding dress. I was not engaged yet, but I was so sure I would be. For 7 years I had an on again off again relationship with someone whom I loved and cared for very much. We were both very young when we met but I thought I received several confirmations from the Lord that this young man would one day be my husband and, like so many other young women do, I built my entire hope and dreams on the foundation of being this person’s wife. Our relationship had been through quite some rocky times, but God always managed to bring us back together. Add circumstances that seemed like Gods ultimate hand at work, I thought I truly was on the verge of becoming a wife. And as for this young man, he wouldn’t break my heart, would he? After all, he is a young pastor, just graduated bible college, on fire for the Lord, full of integrity and a fervent family man. I would be very unreasonable and cynical to be just a bit careful, you know, just in case??
Well, my first love turned out to be my first heartbreak. After a while of trying to make things work and constantly believing that I was in Gods will, one night I went on Facebook to discover the love of my life in a short time we took apart from each other quickly went and got married to another person. I was surrounded with grief and deep sorrow. I cried out to God, now wondering if I even can hear him, if it were him or the devil leading me in this relationship all along.
Disappointment is real. It doesn’t take much living in the world to find this out the hard way. It has been a year now since that dreadful night when my hopes were shattered. I remember for the first 6 months of my grief I constantly believed that I would have to live with the pain of a broken heart for all my life. In my healing journey, I heard many young persons testifying they felt the same way after their first real heartbreak.
It doesn’t have to be a heartbreak to set this belief off in our life. Maybe it could be the death of a parent or some other very tragic event. My encouragement is that the pain does not last. That’s my testimony. The feelings of hurt may still be there, but eventually, you will begin to believe that all of life’s possibilities still have your name on it. And for anyone reading this who is there right now, I encourage you to put all your faith in the Lord.
The Lord often uses heartache and brokenness to mould us into better people and show us areas of our lives we must get in order if we want to go higher. Nothing is ever wasted. Often in our lowest place God will highlight things that were broken in us all along, but we couldn’t see because we were off chasing an illusion. I have often seen heartbreak lead people into therapy where they discover they had limiting beliefs about themselves and others that could have been major problems had they gotten married. I have also often heard it said Rejection is Gods protection. While I do not want to discount the painful event of heartbreak and disappointment, I encourage you not to also discount the glorious process of becoming a better version of yourself and getting a chance to start over, not from scratch but from experience. Now you and I have a platform for ministry out of our pain, as we can empathize with others and share Gods good news of redemption.
As for the disappointments and things we do not understand, I have decided to put everything on the shelf and trust God. The more you toss and turn, losing sleep trying to figure out Gods plan, the less you are trusting in Him and more relying on your own understanding. It is okay to experience the anger, hurt, bitterness, frustration, and despair. Just know its not a sentence, it is a birthing season. Birthing hurts! But purpose is the seed of mankind in the earth, so today in the midst of grief and sorrow, embrace the process of becoming a masterpiece and watch God take you from ashes to Glory. I am believing and praying for you.
Elizabeth is a student of Applied Behaviour Analysis and Special Education, a proud public speaker at Toastmasters International and budding entrepreneur. In my free time, she loves reading, cycling, crocheting and most recently, mastering cuisine in the kitchen. Her life’s ambition is to own an international non-profit ministry focusing on eliminating poverty in Africa and Asia as well as ministering mental and emotional healing.