Slumped over the chest of drawers as I got out the kids’ night clothes, I paused as I considered the opportunity cost of getting the washer fixed versus getting groceries. I mean it should be a no brainer, but as Murphy’s law would have it … if it’s not one thing it’s another.
However, as I stood there totally engulfed in the woes of why adulting needs to be this hard, a still small voice came from behind…
Little one: Say after me, I am Mummy Osborne
Me: * a bewildered look as I switched from being in my head to turning around …
Little one: Come on, you know … say it after me … I am Mummy Osborne!
Me: I am Mummy Osborne
Little one: I am strong
Me: I am strong
Little one: I am brave
Me: I am brave
Little one: I am bold
Me: I am bold
Little one: I am a child of God
Me: I am a child of God
Little one: I am enough
Me: I am enough
Little one: I love me
Me: I love me
Little one: And I love you too mummy …
That was my four-year-old reminding me of his daily “I am” statements but making me the subject and flipping our routine on me. And just like that I regained the courage to get out of my head and back to smiling, adulting, mummying, and whatever else I had to do that evening.
It never ceases to amaze me how the little thigs make the difference. The still small voice of reason, of reminder, of relief. It could be an “I love you” just because, a “you’re doing great” because you really are, or a “thank you” because despite your own struggles you were able to see someone else’s need and help in your own way.
But what happens when you’re just plain fresh out of giddy-up. You know, that umph that makes you – you! That thing that makes you get up and go in the morning, after lunch, and possibly into the wee hours of the morning until that project/ side hustle / baby’s fever is done!
Just the other day as a part of a mental health seminar at work, the speaker went around the room asking all the participants how they were doing – honestly speaking. As she went around the room, traditional yet conservative adjectives like “good” and “overwhelmed” were used.
The discussions coming out of them were great and a blessing to all those in the room as you could hear from the responses how others identified with the emotions of the internal and external pressures of adulting.
When the speaker got to me, I boldly yet vulnerably revealed the scribbles from my notepad: “as though my cape got stuck in a propeller, it’s shredded, and now I’m free falling.” Wow, that was a mouthful, and I can’t believe I said it out loud, but I’m happy I did.
It is triggering and disheartening when every moment requires you, and when there are more requirements than moments. Being spent emotionally at every turn because of everything being juggled, and now there’s only your to-do list. Operating on auto pilot like a robot and hiding on the inside screaming notice me but then again, no no no…please don’t, especially if that means this is just one more thing on my list.
Come on! How do you truly get to create epic memories … like in the good old days?
Here’s what I learned …
To get your giddy-up back ponder these:
1. We only hit what we target
If we never identify what it is that we truly want in or from a situation and/or life, then we will continue to free fall. In free falling we abdicate the throne..
So, choose to believe what He says about you. Choose to believe that He’ll “never leave you or forsake you” and remain landed. For once you choose where it is you want to land, God will “Romans 8:28” your situationand you will be surprised to see things work out. Maybe not in your timing and not exactly how you had imagined, but boy oh boy would you have garnered some new memories (a.k.a. character) and stories for the grandkids (a.k.a. testimonies).
Oh, and remember, landing also brings with it responsibilities. The “but God” lifestyle doesn’t just happen willy-nilly. It happens when you take responsibility for the talents that have been given to you. It happens when you take ownership of and step into that mantle that you have been blessed with, whether it be a family, parenthood, marriage, friendship, finances, business, a career, your health, or all the above.
2. Focus on the lessons not the loss
This adulting thing is no easy feat. However, when you live in the past, you cannot live in the present, nor can you step into the future. And while letting go is hard, you must move away the things in life that you do not want, so that you can have the things you do want.
So, start off by:
· Sitting with your feelings and identifying where you’ve gone wrong. Ask for forgiveness, then forgive yourself for your mistakes, the things you didn’t know and/or the experiences you don’t have. God has, it’s your turn to do the same for yourself. (Jeremiah chapter 31 verse 34)
· Remind yourself that no good thing shall you lack. (Psalm chapter 31 verse 34) The word clearly tells us to encourage ourselves in the Lord. So, get it done.
· Stand firm in creating mental boundaries routed in the fruits of the spirit so that you can let go of whatever it is that’s got your “giddy” down.(Galatians chapter 5 verse 22 to 23)Easier said than done, I know … trust me I know. But that’s where the renewing of your mind reframes every situation and every circumstance into a “but God” moment for the believer.
Note to self …
Adult responsibly and stay keen to that still small voice. Do what is required of you. Regain yourself and let go. Let go of what the world demands of you and hold on to what God calls you to.
Remember to #trust #align #rest in the Lord …
Kimberly-Joe Osborne is an authentic, purpose driven, and adventurously expectant wife, mother, entrepreneur, and woman of God.
Better known as KJ, she is an outgoing introvert with a heart that beats for family, faith, travel, culture, creativity, and food. After becoming a mother, she realized adulting could sometimes be a “hot mess” and so laundry became her zen. On this road to recovery from trying to be the perfect mom and wife, she is currently writing her first book which speaks to aligning and growing in faith in the midst of routine.
Kimberly-Joe is also the co-founder of CoacHer Legacy, where she dedicates herself to coaching mothers with the objective of redesigning generational legacy God's way. Through CoacHer Legacy, she and her business partner Shelly-Ann Munroe, provide a social safe space for mothers seeking to live a richer life by stepping out into their God given purpose.