Tullian Tchividjian, a former megachurch pastor and the grandson of renowned evangelist Billy Graham, revealed in an extensive post on Expastors that he was on the brink of committing suicide after revelations of a couple of affairs resulted in the end of his marriage and the loss of his job.
AsRelevant Magazine reported, Tchividjian stepped down from his role as pastor of the Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church last summer, after admitting to having an extramarital affair. Initial statements from Tchividjian suggested that his affair was a reaction to learning that his wife was involved in an extramarital relationship as well.
Inquistr, however, revealed that speaking to Washington Post, the former pastor's then wife explained, "The statement reflected my husband's opinions but not my own."
Things spiralled further for the 44-year-old this March, when, after his other affair was revealed, Tchividjian was fired from the Willow Creek Presbyterian Church. Several leaders involved in one of Tchividjian's other ministries resigned from their positions.
In the aftermath, the ex-pastor opened up in an extremely personal post, explaining how he went to the extent of writing a suicide note, before proceeding to nearly kill himself.
An excerpt from the post titled "The Freedom in Losing it All" read:
But as shocking and painful as all these losses were, my instinctive response shocked me even more: the rage, the blame-shifting, the thirst for revenge, the bitter arrogance, the self-justified resentment, the dark self-righteousness, the control-hungry manipulation, the deluded rationalization, the deep selfishness, the perverted sense of entitlement.
The truth is, though, that we are very good lawyers when it comes to our own mistakes, but very good judges when it comes to the mistakes of others. As one of my counselors told me early on, circumstances don't create the condition of the heart. Rather, circumstances reveal the condition of the heart. And what was revealed to me about my heart in the fiery hotness of dire circumstances was scary and destructive. This disgusting truth about myself (and the desperate aloneness that I felt because of it) made me want to commit suicide.
