Let’s face it, we all know we should do it, but for some reason, it seems so much harder in practice than in theory. For some of us, we struggle but sincerely wish we could, while others have given up all hopes of forgiving, especially when its felt the person it’s for really doesn’t deserve it.
But what’s the big deal about forgiveness?
In Matthew chapter 6 verse 14 Jesus said, “Forgive and you shall be forgiven”.
Many of us struggle to forgive because we feel as if we are giving the person a get out of jail card, agreeing with what they did, or freeing them from the punishment that we think they deserve. We feel justified to not forgive especially if what they did was in our eyes really horrible.
But are we doing ourselves any favour by not forgiving?
Well I’ve learnt that we aren’t.
God loves all of us. When someone hurts us and we cry out to God with the expectation that He hears, answers and avenge us, often times the person who offended us, feelsoffended too and hopes that God intervenes on their behalf as well. So what then does God do in this situation? Does He favour us over the other or does He rules over it justly? My answer is the latter.
The truth is we are rarely ever faultless in a conflict and even more so in our dealings throughout life. Forgive and you shall be forgiven means then, whatever I want God to do to the person who hurt or offend me, I should be willing to let Him do it to me if He finds that I too am guilty of causing an offence.
As I got closer to God, and began to learn about myself, the good, bad and the ugly things about me, I started to realise that I wasn’t as good, right, smart or considerate as I thought I was. I realised that I wasn’t always the victim, and that my actions too can have a negative effects on others whether or not I intended it to. Getting closer to God showed me that I really needed His mercy and forgiveness because I was prone to do bad things even if they were different from the bad thingsothers did.
This awareness birthed in me a new level of empathy, understanding, patience and consideration when dealing with others. I was less hasty to judge and more tolerant with others even when it seemed they didn’t deserve it. Instead of writing off others in indignation, I reflected on myself and my own struggles and the many times I asked God in secret to forgive me.
Yes, I still do struggle from time to time, and I sometimes have to ask God to help me to forgive and release any negative emotions associated with my hurt or offence. What’s different about me is my understanding and my subsequent commitment to getting over the hurdle of unforgiveness because now I know that each time I forgave, I was making a deposit into my own account of forgiveness with God that I would need sometime down the road.
Overall I've learnt that when I forgive, I am not doing it for my offender. I am not giving them a get out of jail card nor approving what they did. In fact scripture tells me that we all will give an account for the things we've done- good or bad and if I was indeed victimised, God in all righteousness and judiciousness will avenge me in the way He seems fit. Afterall He said “vengeance is mine I will repay” (Deuteronomy chapter 32 verse 35) His only charge to me in this matter is to forgive so that I will be forgiven.
Kerron P. Young is a Kingdom Empowerment Ambassador, who is passionate about seeing individuals find and walk in their God-ordained purpose. She is a mentor, singer and songwriter, an aspiring book writer, praise and worship leader at her local church and founder of Empowered for Purpose Jamaica an organisation dedicated to empowering youths to pursue their God-ordained purpose.
