The contradiction between a crazy, yet gentle, never ending whirlwind; one in which I wasn't sure how to ride.
This picture vaguely describes how I have felt over the past few months.
This feeling didn't have a reason. I was finding it hard to put my emotions into words, to jump into the whirlwind and identify with it.
As of late, I have been feeling close to God; content and able to dream beyond limitations in my ministry. I have felt as though everything has been working out.
Yet that yearning, angsty feeling for more was still present.
And it only grew.
Then last week came.
Without meaning to sound too cliché, it was one of those “life changing” weeks.
In one of my favorite places, on top of a mountain, in a tent, people from many different YWAM bases gathered to praise and worship Jesus. We listened to phenomenal speakers; sharing out of the intimate, deepest places of their hearts and their vulnerability brought me back to the true heart of Jesus.
From their depth of being raw, genuine and hungry for more, I could see an answer to my longing desire.
And the answer was, intimacy.
The wave I had been riding was one where I read my Bible, prayed and invited Jesus into my day, but then I would just get on with it.
However, He had more. He was calling me to dive into the deeper intimacy that He had on offer.
As the week progressed I felt a gentle nudge saying; surrender a bit more, take a step deeper. And by the end of the week, I felt like I was taking a leap into a roaring whirlwind.
I was able to identify that the yearning, feeling for more in my spirit was that the intimacy between Jesus and myself would be met through prayer.
Prayer can be something we do to be right with Jesus; as well as to lift people, places and situations up to Him. More than this though, it always brings us to our knees, in absolute awe of who He is, unable to fathom and move past it.
As we lay our agendas aside, welcome the Holy Spirit and cry out for more, He meets it with the biggest and most excited YES! Of course, He wants to draw close.
Jesus can be crazy, yet gentle at the same time. He calmed the storm and communed alone with the Father. He healed the sick and sat with sinners. He raised Himself from the dead and had dinner with the disciples.
Listening for the call to intimacy
As you have been reading, have you felt a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit stirring something inside of you?
Do you need to take a gentle or crazy step into that whirlwind?
You may not know all the answers, but you can have a fresh confidence in God, knowing He’s slap bang in the middle of it. He doesn't call us to things He's not already involved in. Take a jump.
Rebecca Bowie is a young Christian who is intentionally seeking after Gods heart and striving to love people with everything. Now living in Brisbane Australia, was formerly living in London, England. She’s a full-time volunteer at Youth with a Mission.
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