It was several years ago, in the first light of the day. The clouds were hazy, I was walking the beach and listening for Gods heart as I watched the waves.
Silence. Just the crashing of the waves. I zipped my jumper up further over my neck and kept walking. ‘I want to know your heart God’, I spoke out loud. ‘Let me hear your heart’.
When I was eight I decided that Jesus was real and I wanted to be baptised into His family forever. A giant shell was filled with water and poured over my head and I had a big party afterwards.
I remember learning bible stories and colouring in pictures. I remember learning all about Jesus. I remember learning how to pray. I was taught the Lord’s prayer and a ‘Teaspoon’ way of praying; Thanks, Sorry and Please. I think this was in Sunday school or an early youth group.
Later in life, I got married to a man of great faith. He challenged me to get to know God and his heart. Not through his words, but through his example. My husband showed me what a laid down life looked like. He patiently loved me, despite us having huge theological differences.
I started to take God more seriously and let God into different areas of my heart. With every love- whisper that I heard from Yahweh, I was like a flower opening up to the sun.
I could not understand what was happening to me. Prayer was becoming a life-line. Holy Spirit was becoming real and I started to take notice. Scriptures became living and breathing and spoke life into my heart. I started to be able to sense God’s tangible presence. Like a peace over me.
It took many years still, until I would learn to listen to Gods heart in all its fullness. I needed to be reconciled back to my Heavenly Father. You see, I was good with Jesus and Holy Spirit, but I was not sure about the Father.
I was always uncomfortable when I was sitting in silence or when there was a pause in conversation. Silence was uncomfortable to me.
But last year I reached breaking point with my soul. My hair was falling out from stress and my soul issues were stopping me from sleeping. I was not at peace. I had not received the fulfillment of many of my hearts desires and I was hurting. I needed my Heavenly Father to speak to me and I needed His peace and will for my life into my heart, once and for all.
So, it was during this time, the dark night of my soul, that I finally bowed every single thing to God and started to listen. At this time, I finally bowed all the idols of my heart to God. Every single thing that exalted itself above God in my heart had to be brought down before him. Every desire, every hope and every dream.
Night after night I could not sleep as more soul-pain was coming up and out. So night after night I would come into my ‘prayer chair’ and listen.
James 4:8 says ‘Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.’
I can vouch for the truth of this as Father God began to meet me, in my broken-ness and speak to me. It started as a trickle, his voice, and soon became a stream. Night after night and day after day, I would meet with God. And every single word was like food to my soul. Nourishment to my bones. Life and peace into my heart.
Then, one morning at 4am after a miracle sleep, I felt the invitation to my prayer chair. As soon as I sat down to listen, the Lord began to pour! Like a heavy rain, he spoke and I wrote as fast as my hand could keep up.
Nineteen pages later, I had written a full download from Father into my journal of His heart and his great plans for me. This included key scriptures that He wanted me to be continually reading. It also included loving correction and instructions for my growth. I was amazed as I read back through it, praising God and thanking Him.
Matthew 4:4 says ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but only every word from the Father’.
Listening in silence to God has literally changed my heart and life. Listening is now part of my daily walk. Like fresh manna, I now live on every word from my Heavenly Father.
I can ‘tune in’ to his heart and voice with ease most times now, whether I am walking along the beach, playing piano and singing or in the middle of praying with someone. I can hear his heartbeat and which scriptures he wants me to read for the day.
He has even began speaking to me about other people, how to pray for them and nation-wide issues that are close to his heart. He speaks to me about His ways and how to walk in His ways; with grace and love for others. I try and faithfully abide in the Lord and put into practice all his instructions. For the scriptures invite us to follow him and walk in his ways.
‘The sheep that are My own hear my voice and listen to Me; I know them, and they follow Me.’ - John 10:27 Amplified.
I hope that my story encourages you to seek out his heart and voice for you too. It truly is a joy to be a friend of God’s and an honour to hear his heart!
Liana Monaghan with husband Justin Monaghan are senior Writers for Press Service International. Married for 11 years and a highly creative couple, together they live in community with other passionate Jesus lovers in South Australia. Liana is a songwriter, psalmist, singer and dancer when in God’s presence. She leads a women’s ministry and works as a nanny. Justin creates powerful prophetic artworks and is studying a digital 3D art degree.