I touched on this subject last year and this is a kind of a reminder as I was recently watching "The Conversation" with Amanda de Cadenat, an alternate interview series in which the host, Miss de Cadenat, 'interviews' celebrities through a simple conversation, usually on their own couches in their own homes.
In this particular episode, Eva Longoria was discussing life after her divorce caused by infidelity on the part of her husband. She said something I found striking, intriguing, and mostly just overwhelmingly true.
"I miss you is not I love you," she stated, "They are actually separate emotions." She went on to say, "I miss you is also not, 'I need you in my life right now, either'."
Simple, but profound
In discussing this today with a friend, I realised that this concept is quite intuitive to us in certain areas of life. For example, most of us miss elements of our school days (If you're still in school, enjoy it while you can. It's actually the best) but we don't envision that we need to return to them to move happily into our futures.
We understand that life is a journey, we miss the good of the past, we hail the lessons that it taught us, and we continue onward.
Except in relationships
Maybe I'm alone in this, but not a week goes by without a fond memory of someone in my past slipping into my mind, causing me to mentally sigh and think, "oh, I miss them".
For a long time, these thoughts caused me to wonder if my missing these individuals meant something more. Did I still love them? Should I call them? Did I make a mistake in letting them out of my life?
Until I realised: 'I miss you' is not 'I love you'. In fact, 'I miss you' is nothing more than 'I miss you'; and with that comes the freedom not to do anything about it.
This realisation is especially powerful in our 21st century, modern, ever- changing world.
As we move through the seasons of our lives, the things and people around us change. Until we realise that change is an inevitable certainty, and learn to embrace it, we will be ruled by the memories of people, things, and experiences lost.
When we understand that missing something in the past is not the same as needing it in the present, we are released to appreciate the gifts of today.
Tina Hakimi is an Arizona-raised, Sydney-based writer working to complete her doctorate in Vision Science at the University of New South Wales. She is passionate about the Word of God, scientific research, and how the two serve to strengthen and affirm one another.
Tina Hakimi's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/tina-hakimi.html