Coming out of high school and into university was a slap in the face from the real world. It's amazing how oblivious and naïve we can be to reality when we're absorbed in our own small little world, whether high school, a relationship, prison—anything—peachy or not so peachy, we form little sub-realities.
Facing the real world
High school inspired me, it built in me a confidence for my writing and diligence in my studies; my grades were great and I showed enough potential and enthusiasm to attract attention and respect from my teachers. Now I'm faceless in a throng of students with almost completely self-sustained confidence and dreams.
Disillusionment came hard with doubts of potential and uniqueness screaming at me from all sides and I have to face the fact that I... I am not good enough. Other people are better at everything: writing, art, languages, having a social life... I have lost the childlike luxury of dreams without boundaries.
I'm not the only one
We all face this, time and time again, don't we? You're the best worker on the team but not the one to be promoted. You found redemption in a cell, but now the real world rejects you. You went on a mission trip and found the poor so much more spiritual than you.
Whatever it is, there is always something to slap us in the face and yell, 'Wake up!' and tear us down. This is not where our focus should lie. We need to recognise when we have fantasised too much, but we need not let this destroy us.
When we're wearing this burden on our backs, when the world spits at us and tells us no one cares and we are nothing, God is there. He's calling you to look to Him and see that, you are special. You are precious, and accepted, and loved and even though things don't go the way you plan them to, He still sees you.
Don't believe 'you're not good enough'
Moses was a stutterer, chosen by God; it was Moses who doubted himself—God didn't reject him for it. David—the King David, the man after God's own heart—was considered the runt of his family, sent to watch the sheep while Samuel came to anoint the next king.
Just because the world says you are not good enough, doesn't mean that you are. God loves using the people whom everyone thinks little of. So often those people have grown to accept the view of society and think little of themselves, but don't do that—we can't afford to think like that.
There is hope—you do have potential
I sometimes wonder what difference there would've been, if any, had Moses not rejected himself because of his stutter. Or even if it didn't alter events, how would it have made him feel? How would it have inspired others? We can't live in a shell comparing ourselves to others and assume they are better than we are.
At the end of the day, God still loves you. God sees your potential and probably eagerly waits for you to be confident in yourself and Him so you can spread your wings and fly.
It's a struggle, fighting against this feeling of inadequacy, but Jesus shares your burden. He doesn't want you trying to prove yourself alone; seek Him and let Him show you just how wonderful and beautiful and talented you are, let Him show you the world and open the doors of opportunity others have tried to close. See yourself how He sees you, and don't ever let anyone try to take that from you.
Sabrina Meyer is in her second year at university studying English and History. She has a knack for procrastination and a passion for learning. Her spare time mostly consists of watching YouTuber 'Let's Plays' and getting overly enthused about K-pop, with a dash of reading and gaming to throw in the mix.
Sabrina Meyer's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/sabrina-meyer.html