Since I've been going through a hard time I found myself questioning my faith and asking God "why me".
It is at those times that I have tried reaching out for help and support from the people I thought would help guide me back to the Lord's loving arms; it was my Christian brothers and sisters who I thought would be the first people to show up to my doorstep and see if my family was OK, if I was OK, and to pray with me and help me to know that God is not punishing me.
I always thought that these people would be there for my family and not be judgemental or convicting.
I thought these were the people that if I ever questioned why God is giving me a hard time, they would help me work through how I could get through it faithfully. I really believed these people whom I classed as my "family in Christ" would be there.
However, along with the difficult situation in my life, I am also dealing with feeling disappointment towards some of those people. What I learnt is that they would only give me and my family time if we appeared to be strong Christians who are "perfect" and always show up to church.
And that was really hurtful because they had no idea what I'm going through; and that sometimes it was physically and emotionally just too difficult to get myself and seven kids off to church – it wasn't the highest thing on our priority list.
But still, I didn't think that would be counted against me by my "Christian family". I always thought that you are meant to lift each other up as Christians, not look down on people who struggle and aren't like you. When I was going through a hard time, that is the very time when I expected them to come and see me and pray with me and talk to me.
Only one old lady from church has been there for me and has kept in contact with me and not been judgemental or convicting. She has always helped me with transport with the kids to church when my car had mechanical problems ( and my car is still having problems with the gear box.)
Instead of getting support from other members of the congregation, I received phone calls out of the blue and emails and Facebook messages from people I would have never imagined would contact me to let me know they are here for me. Surprisingly these people are walking the Christian walk and I had no idea until they spoke words of encouragement to me to not give up faith.
Many of them encouraged me with the same message – that God only gives us what we can handle. Although it may seem like I can't get through it now, if I keep trusting in The Lord he will bring me through it.
People who were going through very very similar situations to me, contacted me unexpectedly and told me there testimony of how they couldn't have got through it without God's unfailing love and grace. And these were people that I had no idea were Christian.
Of all the Bible verses that tell us to trust God during hard times, the one I felt closest to my situation was "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." (Psalm 118:8).
Keeping my Faith
For me, I kept asking for God to show me he was still with me even though I should have known he would never forsaken me. It was as though he put those people on my path to help me to not give up. As hard as it seems sometimes, and as quiet as God is sometimes, he was showing me that I need to know that he is always there for me no matter what.
My aunt even reached out to me and drove all the way from Hervey Bay to Tweed Heads with her three month old new baby to come and be with me, and tell me her testimony and talk words of encouragement and prayer.
I've been so grateful to God for the people he has put before my family to help us through a tough time. At the time when I felt like God left me, of course he hadn't. He really was, and is, there all the time and his timing is perfect. It really is true you just have to walk by faith not by sight.
God is Good! All the time.
Tisha Williams is an indigenous home maker and mother on the Gold Coast / Tweed. He husband Edward is an indigenous painter, training to be a carpenter and teaches their children his language and dream time stories which have parallels in the Bible.
Tisha Williams' previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/tisha-williams.html