Do you ever feel as though your head is inside a washing machine? Swishing back and forth, tugging here and there, this way and that way?
Lately, this is how I've been feeling about going back to 'work'. Part of me wants to go back, to get back in the swing of things, to gain a little independence—like being able to go to the bathroom on my own and maybe even finish a cup of tea while on a break.
Yet a part of me doesn't want to leave my little one for a full day as I'm sure to miss out on a new skill he will master, and I will definitely miss his mischievous smiles and contagious giggles. But when it comes to the tantrums and changing smelly nappies, going to work seems, dare I say it, like a little break.
A break from the 24 hour job of being 'mum'. But now part of me feels a little guilty for saying that, as it could imply that I don't love every second of every day, as truth be told, I don't. But as 'they' all say these years are short and I will greatly miss them. Well the years may be short, but some days sure can be long!
And so begins the washing machine inside my mind...
I was chatting to a few other mums about this and thankfully I was relieved to discover that they too experience or have experienced the similar feeling of this back and forth, feeling a little torn.
While we didn't come to any conclusive answers we seemed to agree on the importance of gaining peace amidst this washing machine that can sometimes be on repeat cycle in our minds!
The Prince of Peace
I love how one of Jesus's names is the Prince of Peace and as followers of Christ we can gain his peace. But how exactly? In my experience I have found it is through trusting in him, trusting that he knows best, and trusting in the promise that he has a good plan for our lives!
Isaiah chapter 26, verse 3 says:
'You, Lord give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you'.
And in John chapter 14, verse 1 Jesus says:
'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me'.
Casting our cares on Jesus
Despite our current circumstance—yours may not have anything to do with work, babies, parenthood or poo—it is comforting to know that we can cast our cares, any care on Jesus.
1 Peter chapter 5, verse 7 says:
'Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you'.
Philippians chapter 4, verses 6 and 7 say:
'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus'.
Sometimes making decisions can be hard and sometimes we just don't know what to do!
For me at the moment it is returning back to work, for you it could be something else, thankfully God offers his guidance and we don't have to put our minds into the washing machine cycle.
Psalm 32, verse 8 says:
'The Lord says, I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you'.
And Isaiah chapter 30, verse 21 says:
'If you go the wrong way- to the right or to the left- you will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the right way. You should go this way."'
Jo Fuller is an early childhood teacher with degrees in journalism and education. She currently lives on the Sunshine Coast with her husband and baby son.
Jo Fuller's archive of articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/jo-fuller.html